The hurdles got a lot taller.

Well friends, the whole process got significantly more complicated in the last 48 hours.  The birth father has filed a petition to stop the adoption.  He wants his son.   I don’t feel it is appropriate to go into all the minute details, but suffice it to say we don’t know at this point if Miles is ours or not.  The birth father is a single man, and has no other children.   It is our understanding from speaking with our attorney that the whole process changes if the petition moves forward.  Basically the adoption gets tossed out the window and it becomes a fight for custody between the two biological parents.  The likelyhood of the father getting custody of Miles is less than that of him ending up with his mother.   It is an unfortunate situation, and right and wrong are all shades of gray.  At this point we still have Miles, but at any moment we may be instructed to take him back to the birth mother.   Naturally we are struggling with this whole situation as is the birth mother.

The father seems to be a genuinely good man who simply wants to be a father to his son.  The birth mother’s aunt met with the birth father in an attempt to introduce him to us by way of our profile and help him to see things from the perspective of the birth mom and us. The aunt left that meeting disappointed.  Now we are hoping that once the financial burden is understood by the birth father as well as the fact that he will likely not win custody and have a lot more financial obligations than he understood, that he will allow the adoption to take place.  So in the meantime, we are in limbo, the birth mom is in limbo, Miles is in limbo as well. The birth father has asked for a couple of days to think about it, and he is talking to the birth mother.

At this point, we ask that you keep us in your prayers and please pray that the best thing for Miles be the outcome of this whole situation.  I hope you will understand that I am not going to post any more pictures at the moment.  The two of us are not exactly all smiles and parental bliss.  Hopefully we will know more today or tomorrow.  We simply don’t know.

Thanks for caring.

Categories: Adoption | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “The hurdles got a lot taller.

  1. Laura Roth

    No words can express how I wish this would all be resolved in a flash. I cannot imagine what you and Michelle are going through. I will keep you all in my prayers – and truly believe in god’s plan – no matter how it works out. I want the best for all of you and know that you WILL be the wonderful parents you (and everyone else) have realized you will be.

  2. Kim

    I couldn’t have said it better than the previous poster (Laura), so we will just add our prayers to hers.

  3. Dave G

    Blows doesn’t even begin to cover this. But strength to you my friend.

  4. Mark G

    Prayers sent…

    As you have seen, adoption is a tough and difficult road. Keep your heads and spirits up. In the end, it only adds to the story of how valued and important your child will be.

    Children teach us about God. When we are biological parents, we learn about the Creator. When we adopt, we learn about the “Redeemer.” Your child will be a child of choice, one that took lots of effort and work to realize. The contrasts are amazing, one who did not have a family finds one that is willing to put it all into their love. It is a special thing. Yet, as you now see… One that implies risk, a risk that only adds to the love you will have.

    Blessing, it will all work out for the good, and what is right will be right. Everyone that knows you knows you will be wonderful parents, and that you WILL be parents, so keep going… it will happen.

  5. Claudia and Scott

    Lifting Miles to the light and praying for you all. May you find that the love you have for each other will sustain you through these times. In our thoughts…

  6. JVoe

    this is so sad that i find myself in tears right now for you and michelle but mostly for miles. hang in there and keep us posted.

  7. Cheri

    My prayers are with you both. What a difficult situation for everyone involved. My heart is with you

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