Grief and understanding.

Right now we are both sort of vacillating between numb and accutely hurting.  We are moving through the stages of grief. (Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance)  It is just such a difficult situation to have all that stuff apply  appropriately.  Sure we could direct our anger toward the birth father, but in this day and age, how can we really find fault with a father who actually wants to be a dad and wants to provide for his child when the parents are not married?  Sure you can argue that the father is being selfish and only doing this because he wants his son.  It would make it easier to think of him as some selfish monster concerned only with his wants and needs.  We haven’t met him, but everyone who has says he is genuinely a nice guy who is polite, and wants to do the right thing for his son.   Not everyone defines “right” in the same way.

So, as Michelle and I continue to struggle with the why aspect of the situation, we are left with this….. We asked that the outcome of the situation be the best thing for Miles.  Maybe this is the best thing for him, we just don’t have the perspective to see all the factors involved.

Thanks for caring.

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Categories: Adoption | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Grief and understanding.

  1. weleed chida

    Dear Deron and Michelle,I can’t express myself as well as you do, but I’m feeling for you. Because of my techincal background, my brain is in overdrive thinking about different solutions, but I know deep down in my heart that the almighty has a better plan for you than my little brain will ever engineer.

    A wise man once told me that you don’t get the teacher you want, but rather you get the teacher you need, and it is true about kids. And I know that our lord is a generous lord, and he will have the children you need for you. We need to go through these trial moments and heartbreaks, for him to teach us lessons…..but rest assured that you will get All the LOVE you need and more.

    God Bless you…..for generations to come and forever.

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