On Sunday, Marvin and Donna, Logan’s grandparents on Michelle’s side (Hi Marvin and Donna!) arranged for us to attend the Cirque du Soleil in Tupelo Mississippi. Technically it was Logan’s first circus but I’m seriously doubting he will remember any of it. This is not an editorial about the performance, but he slept through most of it. The part I would like to share is about the brief period when he was awake.
We were up in the upper tier of seats, and although the performance started while it was still light out, they used blackout curtains in the entry tubes, hallways, gangways….I don’t know what do you call those things you go through to get into a coliseum. Anyway, Michelle is not a fan of steep stairs, let alone in the dark. So when Logan made it apparent that his present diaper situation was entirely unacceptable to him, I was nominated to take him to the Men’s room to change him. No big deal. I don’t mind doing that kind of stuff. Now for a quick, but important aside that is germain to the plot of our little tale here. I have a diaper backpack with (as Michelle puts it) 72 diapers, 5 changes of clothes, and enough food for a week. It was too cumbersome to take into the show, so we put the bare essentials into a smaller bag and took that in with us. You might be able to tell that at some point in the not too distant future you will learn that Michelle’s idea of the bare essentials and mine are somewhat different. Yes, I admit it, I was a Boy Scout and so I do tend to be a bit over prepared for things……so shoot me.
Now we return to the story: I am descending the stairs with the minimalist diaper bag and Logan. We get to the Men’s room and I discover that there is no official changing station, but there is a bare section of countertop. I get several paper towel sections, lay them down, and start to make the most of it. I take off the needlessly complicated collection of garments (pants, and a onesie) and get to the diaper. I’ve been a dad long enough to know that there are times when you can simply tell that a diaper is going to be unpleasant before you actually open it. This was one of those occasions. So I got the fresh one ready to go in the hopes that it was just a wet one. All parents have done this I’m sure, you open up the diaper with the hope of the “quick change” only to have your hopes dashed. Well, I opened it up, and the first surprise was that Logan chose that exact moment to let fly with a little liquid gift. I swear I only had him opened up for 2 seconds tops, but that was long enough that his onesie was wet all the way to his chest. My first thought was, “no problem, I have several backup outfits….two to be exact. ” This was the point where I realized that Michelle’s idea of bare essentials and mine were dramatically different. I thought, well I could just run out to the car and get him a fresh outfit….but no, Marvin had purchased the tickets and I didn’t have a stub, and the doors were clearly marked “No Reentry.” Hmmm. At this point, poor Logan is crying, and obviously unhappy, so I strip him down, change the diaper which was a horror show. Cleaned him up and got him freshly diapered and started looking for a solution to my dilemma. It was then that I spotted the one and only hand dryer. I’m saved!
Picture this if you will, I’m holding a nearly naked kid, carrying a green and pink bag and attempting to dry his wet clothes using a hand dryer. Oh but it gets better. The stupid hand dryer button wasn’t working right, so I had to hold it in for it to work. So I am holding Logan in my left hand, the bag that frightened all other men away from me at my feet, my right elbow depressing the hand dryer button and my right hand dangling the onesie in front of the air stream. One guy stuck his head in to the area where I was, saw me and turned tail without washing his hands.
The long and short of it is that I was able to get the clothes dry and make it back to the seats without further incident. Don’t be completely horrified, urine is sterile, and we changed him into other clothes soon thereafter. But even though Logan won’t remember his first circus, you can bet I will.
I have heard the pleas for more pictures and I will take some and post them soon. I did post one that you haven’t seen before, I call it, “Logan discovers his hands.” In the Logan Lanier Monroe file.