Before Michelle and I decided to adopt, we had been married for 17 years. In that time, I was one of those people who never saw the benefits and “upside” if you will of parenting. I saw a financial burden, a drain on my free time, a whole slew of obligations and my opinions were often reinforced by other parents complaining about the drugery of parenting. What changed my mind and my heart about being a parent was when we moved to Memphis, I was around my (at the time) 6 month old adopted nephew. Being with them a lot, and seeing him grow completely changed how I felt about kids. Now that we have Logan, I cannot even fathom how I could be so blind as to not realize all the good things that parents fail to discuss about parenting. One of the things I intended to do by writing this blog was to hopefully speak to potentially adoptive parents who are wondering about moving forward with the process. So, if that describes you, let me speak to you directly for just a moment. I’ve been a parent now for nearly 6 months. I have never in my life to this point done anything else more rewarding or worthwhile….period. I operate under no illusion that the day will never come when Logan does something to disappoint me. I know someday he will utter the words, “I hate you.” No, I’m not looking forward to that. What I can tell you is that there is something magical about a child who can’t yet speak, but manages to communicate pure joy when they see you. Michelle and Logan had been in Houston for several days, and when they got home I was there to greet them. I spoke to Logan from several feet away, and his head whipped around looking for me. As soon as he saw me, he got a HUGE grin and started to flail his hands and feet in excitement. How cool is that? Having not had my Logan fix for several days, he and I hung out last night. Mind you now, he had been riding in the car for 11 hrs, and had been an angel about that bye the way, which means he slept quite a bit. He and I played and snuggled, and then without prompting from me, he fell asleep on my chest and slept deeply for 2 hrs. We can all attest to the fact that we sleep better in our own home and our own bed. I like to think that because he was comfortable and felt safe, he was able to sleep restfully rather than just the “cat nap” type sleep he got in the car.
It is a good feeling being the source of that safe and secure feeling for another person. I fed him some carrots when he woke up, and he demonstrated to me that carrots were not his favorite with a single PFFFFFFFFT. He was right, they didn’t taste good. He seemed to have gotten enough to eat, so we played and chatted a bit more. Not long after Michelle got home from teaching he was starting to show signs of being tired, so Michelle put him to bed, and he went right to sleep. Everyone defines a “good day” differently, but Logan certainly made mine a good day.
We often get caught up in the doing aspect of life and forget to embrace the living aspect. We only get one shot at this. Why not put some effort into making the time you are awake that much more enjoyable by looking for the good things? Pathologically happy can’t be a bad thing.