It was two years ago today that I sat in a hallway of a hospital in Payson Utah waiting for my son to be born. I will never forget the feeling of joy I had run through me when I heard his first cry. Twenty minutes or so later when I got to hold him for the first time the feeling was indescribable. A mere 24 hours later, with the stroke of a pen, a woman who chose Michelle and I to parent her son made it all legal and binding. With a simple stroke of a pen she gave us the most amazing gift I have ever received.
As I sat tonight watching Logan eat his dinner, saying please and thank you, and just being a joy, it struck me. I cannot imagine my life without Logan now. Days when I can’t be there when he gets up and goes to bed somehow seem incomplete. My manner of speaking to Michelle is often colored by “Loganisms”. I’ll say babbage instead of garbage. I hear his voice in my head when I say other words like kitty, doggy, or Papa.
Last week we invented a game that he loves to play now. It doesn’t really have a name. He comes up to me, puts his hand on my leg and imitates me roaring, and then runs away giggling. He runs down the hall and then falls down and waits. I, playing the role of the evil monster, come lumbering down the hall (sometimes I run) and roar menacingly when I get to him. Then I fall down with my hands and feet encompassing him and kiss him on the forehead. He laughs, and then gets up and runs about 3 more steps and falls down again so I can “attack” him again. This goes on for as long as he wants, which is usually quite a while, or until Mommy says the word cookie.
We didn’t get to play that game tonight and I missed doing so.
Who in their right mind would say that the greatest gift they ever received was one that you’ll have to clean up after for at least 18 years, will cost you untold amounts of money, and will have a grown man lumbering down a hallway, arms held high, roaring like an idiot? Maybe I’m not in my right mind, but I can think of no better gift. On this, his birthday; Thank you again Linda. He is nothing short of a miracle.