Sometimes the best thing you can receive for a birthday is nothing more than the laughter of your child.
Posts Tagged With: Adoption
Yesterday was Easter Sunday. We had Michelle’s folks in town for the weekend , and had a family gathering at our house. My father-in-law is a keen observer, and two weeks ago he relayed a story about Jillian, my niece when she was about 1 1/2. She had gotten something off a shelf and when she was finished with it, Marvin asked her to put it back where she had found it. She picked it up and put it back on a shelf. Marvin said “Jillian, that isn’t the shelf where you found it”, so she moved it to the proper place. All this from a child who at that time did not speak at all.
This weekend Marvin made a similar observation about Logan. Michelle asked him to get a book. He crawled over to the book and opened it. Then Michelle said, bring it over here so I can read it to you. He crawled back to his mom sliding the book under his hands as he went.
At less than 16 months old, Logan not only knew what a book was, but understood the sentences that were spoken to him as if he were much older. I am amazed, as were Michelle and Marvin. In case my friend Sarah is reading this, yes it was one you sent, thank you. And yes, obviously the time spent with Logan reading is paying off. He never ceases to amaze me.
I’ve been pondering the concept of fulfillment. I think it means something different to each one of us. I also think that there are widely varying degrees of fulfillment we are capable of experiencing. Dictionary.com offers these two interpretations of the word that appealed to me.
|1.||a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires|
|2.||the act of consummating something (a desire or promise etc)|
Somehow I don’t think that definition quite sums up the feeling adequately. Sure the words are all appropriate, but there is more to it that words simply cannot convey. I’ll stay conceptual for a few more moments. For some people achieving that promotion or finally getting that dream car or dream house they’ve always aspired to having are fulfilling things. For others the moment they finally open their heart and allow the Lord into their lives for the first time is the best way to describe fulfillment. I’m also quite certain that your position in the linear time line of life has a lot to do with what you find fulfilling. Did you ace the test? Did you score the winning point? Buying your first house, getting married, having your first child, starting a company, retirement, watching your kids succeed…all these things could be fulfilling things for someone.
I would like for you to consider for a moment just what is it that makes something qualify as fulfilling? I’ve learned that I am quite often not representative of the public at large, but I’ll give you my thoughts on this subject. (hey, you can stop reading any time, no one is forcing you) I believe that, at least for me, in order for something to be fulfilling, it has to be significant to me in at least two of the three following categories, physical, emotional or spiritual. If it touches all three, then it is that much more powerful. We tend to live our lives seldom engaging all three of those categories, and most days only one. As I sit here and think about the things that have happened in my life that would qualify as fulfilling experiences the most vivid memories are those that engaged all three.
For those of you out there who are parents, you already know this, but for any of you who stumbled upon my blog because you were looking for information about adoption, let me target you for just a minute. Since we adopted Logan in December of 2008, I have had more moments of fulfillment in that 4 month period than during any prior period I can recall. I waited a long time to become a parent, and much of my reasoning was that I was never convinced that the benefits outweighed the costs. Let me tell you, from the perspective of a reformed skeptic, the benefits absolutely overwhelm the costs. I’ve had magical memorable moments in my life. Witnessing bighorn sheep head butting on a sheer cliff face in Rocky Mountain National park, swimming within an arms reach of a nurse shark I did not know was there, and many more. They all pale in comparison to holding your child for the first time. I was lucky enough to hear Logan’s first cries, and hold him just minutes after he was born. I will never forget the relief I felt when I heard him scream for the first time at 5:58 pm on December 15th. I will cherish the times he has fallen asleep on me. I vividly remember the first time he smiled at me because he recognized me. And I cannot wait until the first time I hear him call me Daddy. Children, whether they are yours biologically or not, are an amazing mixture of physical, emotional and spiritual. Ask any parent, and I bet they will tell you that the best and worst times in their lives revolved around their kids. Life before kids seems like I had been watching a 12 inch black and white tv and now that I’m a dad, I’m watching an 75 inch color HDTV. The difference is that dramatic. For any of you potential adoptive fathers out there who wonder if you can accept a child that is not your genetic material as your own, I hope you find it in your heart that you can. I don’t know how I could have ever doubted my ability to do so. I love that little guy more than I ever thought possible.
In fact, I think I’ll go watch a little Logan TV…..on a 7 inch black and white screen…..how ironic.
I posted a few new pictures taken yesterday in the back yard, just follow the link on the right side.
I certainly hope those who read this will give me the benefit of the doubt and not assume that because I am writing a blog that I feel I have something of great importance to convey. I’m just a regular guy, with a regular job, looking for an effective way to update friends and family about what is going on in the life of myself and my family. I intend to stay away from inherently controversial topics because I just don’t feel the need to be on the receiving end of argumentative comments from those who disagree with me. Some folks I have known for 20+ years, and whose opinions I value, disagree with me, your opinion isn’t likely to change mine. If you disagree with me, I’m quite sure you can find plenty of other pages to read.
The secondary motivation for this blog is to document our (my wife and I) journey to adopt. It is very early on in the process on the morning of January 21st 2008. We are compiling the necessary documentation to submit our request to adopt. For the uninitiated, the process for prospective parents to adopt is quite complex, detailed, and involved and is that way out of necessity. If it were easy, and there were no security precautions then those amongst us in society who do not have the best interests of children at heart would be able to adopt and do Lord knows what with the child. So, while it is time consuming, and challenging to complete I’m glad the children are protected by the process. If it were easy to do, it wouldn’t be as meaningful.
I am sure that as we travel this path there will be days when we will need the support of our friends and family. I would like to say with my first post, Thank you, to all of you who are starting this journey with us. When we told the first few people we were considering this, the reaction was overwhelmingly positive and supportive. That reaction has been consistent with each new person we’ve told. Thank you. Just knowing that others whose opinions we value think we will be good parents gives us strength.